every rose has its thorn :: jeremy [FINISHED]

[AVA LYNCH]

It could have been months, or even just a few moments, but according to the calender, Jeremy had been back in her life for three days. Three long, excruciating days. She felt herself lying in bed for hours during the day (the time she slept) and waking up well into the night still exhausted. Her mind seemed to work only halfway now, the other half dedicated only to him. She felt as if there was a cancer inside her, slowly deteriorating her once cool and fresh attitude into a mix of panic and immediate anxiety. Already she had had a panic attack, though she was safely out of prying eyes and had even checked for recent scents in the area. She had managed to keep her shell together (more-or-less) in front of her gang and Jeremy. Not to say that hadn't been anything less than difficult.

At the moment Ava was walking slowly down the main street, close to the entrance of the camp, though not close enough that she was in any sort of danger to be shot of course. That would really put a damper on her day. It was almost near four in the morning, close to the time she'd need to return back to the schoolhouse and end the day. Her pace wasn't her usual stiff strut down her path, but more of a leisurely walk, as if she wasn't even paying attention to her surroundings (though she was more than ever). Her gaze was fixed to the stars, the sky and moon. It was a rather nice night, a cool breeze of fall stirred her long hair and brushed against her cheek. It smelled of crisp leaves and coming rain, signifying fall was on it's way.

With a sigh she turned to a small rooftop to her side, there was nothing overly interesting about it but to Ava it was a perfect place to Ava to do some stargazing. She easily jumped onto it and flipped onto her back, stretching her arms behind her head she gazed up to the black night and closed her eyes. Just for a moment she could escape from the world, from her life, from Sangvene.

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OOC:: outfit
LYRICS:: Animal I have Become - Three Days Grace
CREDIT:: by Goldy

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note from star: only edited to change the title

[JEREMY BANKS]

---------Jeremy lasted about half an hour in the school house before being driven practically out of his mind with boredom. He was not in the mood for chatting or fighting with the gang members and the whole place lacked any form of interesting entertainment. Finally, after pacing, wandering, and loitering, he decided to leave and find Ava.
---------The cool, fresh night air felt good as a light breeze brushed through his hair and against his skin. The scent of his lover was fresh and at a brisk walk it took around ten minutes to locate her on the roof top. Her golden hair illuminated by moonlight, her bright eyes staring up at the stars, she looked like something out of a fair tale.
---------With silent steps he climbed to the roof and then walked over to her. "Star gazing," he said, announcing his presence. "That brings back memories." He did not wait for her permission before laying down beside her, placing his hands behind his head, and joining her in her studies of the heavens.

[AVA LYNCH]

Ava heard his voice and sighed, opening her eyes to see his eyes familiar figure sit beside her. She felt a slight pang of nostalgia at his words, it did bring back memories. Good memories, too. Painful now, but she had been happy at the time. Her eyes clouded for a moment and she turned to look at Jeremy, "Oh." she said dryly, "it's you" she rolled onto her side facing away from the vampire and clasping her hands under her chin. "Greetings, stranger.".

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OOC:: outfit
LYRICS:: Animal I have Become - Three Days Grace
CREDIT:: by Goldy

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[JEREMY BANKS]

---------Jeremy's eyes stayed on the stars. He heard her turn, catching a glimpse in his peripheral vision, but his gazed remained towards the heavens. He smirked at her unfriendly greeting. Though it was kinder than how she had been treating him the past few days, it still was anything but warm.
---------"That's all I get?" he asked, a bit bemused. "'Oh, it's you.' You certainly are warm and cheery." His voice had a touch of irony, though not the harsh sarcasm one might expect. Sarcasm had never been his style. There were far more effective ways to hurt those he wished to hurt and it was far too easy to cause harm to those he wished to protect by the misuse of such fowl humour.
---------There was silence between them, the breeze rustling through the trees, the nocturnal animals of the forest going about their business being the only sounds to grace their ears. Jeremy sighed. "You honestly hate me, don't you."

[AVA LYNCH]

After the words were spoken it was like a clock started counting the seconds. One... Two... Did she hate him? A deep voice in her head barked "yes" but something else... Something quieter and lighter inside of her stiffened it. Three... Four... It confused her, she wanted to simply tell him of course but... something in her prevented the words from coming out. She even opened her mouth but nothing but a muffled sound resembling a sigh escaped her lips. Five... Six... Should she simply lie? She was good a lying, she knew that. Out of everything she did know that was for certain. But then again, this was Jeremy, and for her lying to Jeremy specifically seemed to be a whole other skill she hadn't yet mastered. Seven... Eight...

"Yes." she said firmly, her voice free of sarcasm or even contempt. Just a solid firmness that to the unknowing ear was free of doubt for concern. To the knowing ear, however, you could hear the hint of uncertainness in her tone. That mild fluctuation of her voice that was so very Avaish it was one of the few things that even Ava herself had not recognized about herself to even start to stop it.

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OOC:: outfit
LYRICS:: Animal I have Become - Three Days Grace
CREDIT:: by Goldy

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[JEREMY BANKS]

---------For a moment Jeremy could see her hesitation. The subtle evidence of inward struggles which he had come to recognize so well in his lover. Her final answer was firm yet a touch of hesitance bleed through in her voice. She spoke with confidence but he could tell she was uncertain of the truth of her own words.
---------Jeremy turned his head to face her was did not speak a word in response. He looked back to the sky and sighed. "I feel like this is lighting a fuse to a bomb, Ava," he said reluctantly. "But what have I ever done to earn your hatred." His voice brought on both bitterness and confusion as he spoke. "I cared for you, treasured you, adored you, never abused you, protected you, and yet here you are proclaiming your undying hate for me." He sat upright and turned to face her. "What do you want, Ava? Do you actually want a man who is like your wretched father?! Do you want a man who will call you worthless and beat you if you don't do as he says?! Who will throw you away at a second's notice?! Because excuse me if I was too good to you for your tastes."

[AVA LYNCH]

When he first began to speak Ava turned to him as well so they faced each other while he continued to speak. Her eyes narrowed and she tried to say something but nothing came from her lips. As his voice became louder she began to also sat upright and her expression angered.

When she finally got a chance to speak she spat up everything that she had been dying to cry out for a while, "How dare you?!" she felt her hands squirming into fists as anger coursed through her veins. "You owned me! Like a pet owner to a cat or a dog! And even now you come to claim me like a lost object." she shook her head and narrowed her eyes. "And what even gives you the right anyway?! I've been doing just fine without you here!" she hugged her torso and her voice began to crack, "Besides. A broken heart is a broken heart. No matter the circumstances." if she hadn't been stuffing that annoyance and anger inside her she probably wouldn't have said that but it came out with all the other words that spilled out from her lips, however willingly.

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OOC:: outfit
LYRICS:: Animal I have Become - Three Days Grace
CREDIT:: by Goldy

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[JEREMY BANKS]

---------Jeremy was taken aback slightly by her sudden outburst. Had his head been a bit more level, he might have recognized how bitter his words came out, but at the moment he was growing increasingly frustrated, emotions mixing into anger and confusion. Her last comment seemed unplanned, but he spoke on it anyway.
---------"A broken heart, you say? When did you become so delicate to be broken up over such a ridiculously obvious misunderstanding?" He turned away from her, scowling. "You used to be so sweet as honey but now you are bitter poison. More so honey laced with poison. Same sweet eyes, golden hair, temptingly seductive looks, but underneath it all, you've gone dark." He did not even look at her as he spoke, his words holding a touch of anger.
---------"Trying to fill some gap in your heart with superficial pleasure, giving into the nature of your bloodlust, and locking away your past. It won't work, Ava," His attitude seemed to calm a bit, as if his own words hit a bit close to home. Finally he turned to look at her again. His eyes filled with sadness, regret, and even pity. "It never does."

[AVA LYNCH]

Ava sat there, hugging her legs as he spoke to her. She didn't wince at his words, however much they stung her. She just sat and listened as he continued to show how he truly felt about the evolved Ava. She felt the sudden urge to be closer to him, not in a threatening way but to simply let him hold her if he would and protect her from the feelings that plagued her now. Then when he looked at her with a gaze of true feeling she then wanted to make him feel better however she could. Whether it be hugging him or even something more intimate. She stopped herself and turned her back to him completely.

He was like a drug to her, a fact she had realized a few years or so ago. At a time she didn't think she could ever walk this earth without him by her side, and after a long while of intense rehab (in the form of attending Sangvene) she had learned to live without it. But now, here he was, waving whisky in front of a recovering alcoholic, and it was becoming difficult for her to resist. She had done away with all forms of romantic relationships when she realized how much she had needed them. Then she had also trained herself to do away with them, but like everything else it all came back with him.

Ava shook her head as she looked off quietly into the distance. "It didn't work for you.", she corrected him, "I was fine until you came along. You screwed it all up with your... your... your screw-it-uppiness." she grumbled to herself. She turned her head so she could see him from the corner of her eye, "And you're right, I'm sour and rotten inside. You should just leave and find another pretty blonde to take in. I'm sure there still are plenty back on the streets of New York." she turned back away from him and gave a quiet sigh. "You should try there so I can get back to my life. Or unlife or whatever the hell it's supposed to be called."

She found herself feeling vulnerable around him, and not in a good way. Not in a way that made her want to give herself to him but in an even deeper way that concerned or even frightened her. Perhaps he was not her drug, but more her Kryptonite. He weakened her to everything around her, and she knew that exposure to him was killing her. Or at least, the part of her she had actually come to like about herself. Even if Jeremy called her poisonous, or even if she had no real friends, or even if no new man in their right mind would ever want to start a relationship with her; this new person she had become had erased all the vices of Ava v.1. No longer weak or dependant or quiet or stupid. Yeah, sure she had to sacrifice her humanity but that was nothing compared to what she had gained. Or at least in Ava's opinion.

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OOC:: outfit
LYRICS:: Animal I have Become - Three Days Grace
CREDIT:: by Goldy

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[JEREMY BANKS]

---------Something about her voice, the way the sadness and pain seeped through her cold words, made Jeremy feel almost sympathetic towards her and a touch regretful. He quickly shoved away the latter of these. He was not the kind of man who liked to live in regret, guilt, or remorse of any amount or any kind.
---------Jeremy wanted to comfort her, but he knew very well that he would only make things worse. It frustrated him in a sense. He opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again. He though about different things he could say to her but none of them seemed right. Reaching forward he lightly ran a bit of her golden hair through his fingers as he rose to his feet. Turning to walk away he said, "I would never settle for plastic rock over the diamond that you are, Ava." As he began making his way to the ground he said, "I'll be around," before departing into the woods. If she stopped him or called out to him he would gladly stay, but even if she did not, he knew that some day she would return to him. It would just take time.

[AVA LYNCH]

Ava unwrapped her arms from around her legs and crawled to the edge of the roof, watching him leave while she sat there on her knees. He was a beautiful man, and as much as Ava wanted to deny it she had never met a man she was more attracted to; both physically and emotionally. She felt her instincts take over and she panicked, she didn't want to be alone. Not now, and not forever. She felt her voice crack as she tried to call out and the only sound made was a small sob.

She held in everything until he was gone and she curled up into a ball on the roof, holding herself tight. No one was in earshot, should tell with her own senses, and she quietly cried alone.

Too many people believe that Ava was heartless, and many more saw her to be stone. It was entirely her fault they saw her that way, she hadn't acted in a way to let others think of her differently. It was all a lie really, or mostly it was. It was as if she was in this shell for her years at Sangvene and someone was breaking it and the shards of it was digging into her skin and it hurt. It really did hurt.

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OOC:: outfit
LYRICS:: Animal I have Become - Three Days Grace
CREDIT:: by Goldy

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